We must be Crazy but we love Lindsay Lohan

Image via WikipediaLindsay Lohan, the actress that can only be described as Charlie Sheen without a peter....You have to love her because she is a celebrity blogger's wet dream. Only Lohan could take a sweet rehab get out of jail free stint and completely fuck it up.

Oh what fun it is to follow Lohan as she trips down life's path. One has to wonder about how someone who claims to be so smart can display the intelligence of a toilet plunger when appearing in public.

Sure, The Big L has dealt with drug and alcohol problems and yes she has never met a relationship that she could not totally screw up within a month, but how can one actress be so completely clueless about how the world works?

I can still remember the photos taken of her when she was sentenced to 90 days in jail for one of her many probation violations. The look was shock, like peeking in a window to find your neighbor humping a gerbil. What did she think? Did she think that the judge was going to be so overwhelmed with the star power of Lohan that she would just let her walk away? Maybe sign a few autographs? HA!

But of course it does not matter because Lohan did not serve anywhere close to the 90 days. Just like any celebrity that goes to jail in LA, Lohan is released early. Sure she did more time than most but still it could hardly be considered hard time. Shit, people in LA spend more time in line at Starbucks than Lohan spent in jail.

Now we have the stolen necklace deal and that fight with the nurse there at Betty Ford that simply refuses to go away. While Lohan's lawyer has been busy trying to convince her to take a plea, Lohan has been speaking to the media about her plans to beat the rap and move on with her life.

Sure, the case has a lot of holes in it, especially considering the fact that the jewelry store owner is wasting no time in trying to sell the story and video to the tabloids. But there is still a good chance that Lohan will find herself being sentenced to some hard time in an actual prison where there is no early release.

Of course she is already making plans to star in some films. She is first in line to be cast as Victoria Gotti in the new film about John Gotti alongside John Travolta. Then comes the new film about Charles Manson that will likely star shock rocker Marilyn Manson.

But these film roles may go the way of the dinosaur if these legal problems are'nt sorted out.

Charlie Sheen: A Crazy Town honorary member

Image via WikipediaOk let's face it, you can't turn on your television or open your newspaper without tripping over a story about Charlie Sheen. The self-proclaimed Warlock has dug himself into a hole and it appears that there are some conflicting stories about how he will find his way out.

The history of Sheen is one that is easy to understand. The son of a famous actor, Sheen has been given the unique opportunity to become a top of the line star that everyone wants a piece of. However, these days there are few that would even consider touching him.

According to his own words, he got his start in the famed cult hit Ferris Bueller's Day Off. His part was small but he was playing to a part that he knew oh so well. Arrested and waiting to be processed for drugs Sheen was the bad boy and he sparked the interest of Jennifer Grey who was playing the cranky and PMS ridden sister of Ferris.

At that point Sheen became the bad boy that everyone wanted and the parts started rolling in. Of course the drugs, alcohol and arrests started rolling in as well. He was tapped for shooting his first wife and has landed himself in hot water over the narcotics so many times that most judges know him not from the televisio but from his arrest record.

 But man alive this guy can fuck up something so sweet and end up a has been from way back. Last year it was announced that Sheen would be the highest paid actor in a comedy series, making almost $2 million per episode. With that kind of scratch he should be able to do whatever it is that they want and then some. He should be down on his knees kissing so much ass that his lips fall off.

But of course that is not the style that Sheen is known for. Instead he spends his time in wild parties, having full briefcases of cocaine delivered to his house while partying with porn stars. Then he wants to rent a mansion next door to house his favorite porn stars and he has two of them move in with him.

Sheen wonders why the mothers of his children do not want them to stay at his house. Boy if that is not a head scratcher I don't know what is.

Now Sheen has lost his job. Warner Brothers has said that they are through with him, having grown tired of his crap. But Sheen insists that he will be back with Two and a Half Men before the start of the new season.

Of course there is his comedy tour, a complete pimple on the ass of the comedy scene. Just because someone can make people laugh reading lines that someone else wrote does not mean that they should launch a standup career. Thus far he has done nothing but piss off the people that spent money on his tickets.

Considering his appetite for drugs and booze and his overall lack of self-respect I am sure that Sheen is going to be one of those tragic cases that happen all the time in Hollywood. One of these nights he is going to go on a binge and that binge will end with his death because everyone will be tired of dealing with him. It may sound morbid but many others have ended in the same way. John Belushi springs to mind. He was far more talented than Sheen could ever dream of but he had a taste for the hard drugs. Sheen could end up the same way unless something changes very soon.