Soap Opera Deaths - Drama unfolding

Image via WikipediaAnyone who has spent any amount of time watching daytime television knows that when you die on a soap opera it is not guaranteed that you will stay that way. Time and time again people have met their demise only to be brought back with some kind of out of this world explaination.

However, it appears this time that things may stick once and for all with the popular programs. ABC announced yesterday that they have cancelled One Life to Live and All My Children, two of the longest running shows on daytime.

This is just the next level of the grave that has been dug for the programs that have been losing viewers for the past 10 years. While soaps were once a staple every network lineup, they have lost their allure recently as reality television and talk shows have become par for the course.

According to industry statements, the shows are incredibly expensive to produce, especially when you take into consideration the fact that each of them has four times the amount of actors and actresses of a normal prime time program. Many networks have decided that the smaller productions, such as talk shows and cooking programs, are the way to go and ABC has already announced a lineup of new programs that will replace the two cancelled dramas.

The last remaining soap that will appear on ABC will be General Hospital but insiders have said that its days are numbered as well. With the ratings in the toilet General Hosptial will likely only enjoy one more season before it too is replaced by another cheaper to produce program.

So it looks like Susan Lucci will only receive that one daytime emmy that took her so long to pickup.

Charlie Sheen: A Crazy Town honorary member

Image via WikipediaOk let's face it, you can't turn on your television or open your newspaper without tripping over a story about Charlie Sheen. The self-proclaimed Warlock has dug himself into a hole and it appears that there are some conflicting stories about how he will find his way out.

The history of Sheen is one that is easy to understand. The son of a famous actor, Sheen has been given the unique opportunity to become a top of the line star that everyone wants a piece of. However, these days there are few that would even consider touching him.

According to his own words, he got his start in the famed cult hit Ferris Bueller's Day Off. His part was small but he was playing to a part that he knew oh so well. Arrested and waiting to be processed for drugs Sheen was the bad boy and he sparked the interest of Jennifer Grey who was playing the cranky and PMS ridden sister of Ferris.

At that point Sheen became the bad boy that everyone wanted and the parts started rolling in. Of course the drugs, alcohol and arrests started rolling in as well. He was tapped for shooting his first wife and has landed himself in hot water over the narcotics so many times that most judges know him not from the televisio but from his arrest record.

 But man alive this guy can fuck up something so sweet and end up a has been from way back. Last year it was announced that Sheen would be the highest paid actor in a comedy series, making almost $2 million per episode. With that kind of scratch he should be able to do whatever it is that they want and then some. He should be down on his knees kissing so much ass that his lips fall off.

But of course that is not the style that Sheen is known for. Instead he spends his time in wild parties, having full briefcases of cocaine delivered to his house while partying with porn stars. Then he wants to rent a mansion next door to house his favorite porn stars and he has two of them move in with him.

Sheen wonders why the mothers of his children do not want them to stay at his house. Boy if that is not a head scratcher I don't know what is.

Now Sheen has lost his job. Warner Brothers has said that they are through with him, having grown tired of his crap. But Sheen insists that he will be back with Two and a Half Men before the start of the new season.

Of course there is his comedy tour, a complete pimple on the ass of the comedy scene. Just because someone can make people laugh reading lines that someone else wrote does not mean that they should launch a standup career. Thus far he has done nothing but piss off the people that spent money on his tickets.

Considering his appetite for drugs and booze and his overall lack of self-respect I am sure that Sheen is going to be one of those tragic cases that happen all the time in Hollywood. One of these nights he is going to go on a binge and that binge will end with his death because everyone will be tired of dealing with him. It may sound morbid but many others have ended in the same way. John Belushi springs to mind. He was far more talented than Sheen could ever dream of but he had a taste for the hard drugs. Sheen could end up the same way unless something changes very soon.